AND here is the PROOF…….
· June 27,
2012- God reminded me to focus my attention on Him, my constant
companion, instead of the shrouded uncertainty of what we had been facing and
what we might have to face (not having a biological child). I read this
in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
· July 5, 2012- I
read the word adopt (Ephesians 1:4-5) in my bible and it really stood
out. The word adopt came across the screen of the TV in GIGANTIC
letters, the radio repeated the same commercial about being called to take
care of the orphans. Maybe this was God's way of giving me a
child.
· July 6, 2012- I
randomly read Romans 8:15 "You should behave instead like God's very
own children, adopted into his family- calling him father, dear father."
· August- April 2013- I
have had on my heart that while we wait....we had the opportunity to really
deepen our relationship with God. Well school started back and my journal
suffered! God has spoken in more ways than I can even begin to say.
Sadly enough, I was so busy with life I just didn't write down the specifics of
what he said to me. I began to admit to myself that something had to give.
I wanted more. My thinking started to refocus. I wasn't focusing so
heavily on "a baby"(although I still think about it a lot)....I felt
pretty confident that I heard God's voice and I did and still do believe that
in his time he will provide that desire of my heart. Now my mind was
shifting to my relationship with the king of kings and how I just needed
more!!!
· May 2013- Started
Gideon bible study-I underlined these words of Priscilla Shirer's "Israel's
culture during the time of the judges is not much different from our own.
Sin runs rampant and morality continues to decline. He is still
searching, not for perfect people, but for individuals who are passionate
about Him and committed to His call on their lives." Then
the verse came up "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
Joshua 24:15. I knew for sure that I wanted my household to serve and
worship God like we had never done before. And what better time than
while we were waiting. I wanted to pass on the baton of faith for the
generations to come.
· May 2013-
I felt God was leading me towards a job that was less time consuming. My
heart yearned for more of God and I just wasn't accomplishing it. I
got up every morning determined to read God's word.... but it really just was a
habit to check off my list as done. So I began praying that God would show me
what he wanted me to do. I
was spending the majority of my time at work~ whether I was at school or at
home. Matt was worried. I just wasn't happy. I didn't have the
opportunities in my class to create the relationships that I wanted because
time was such an issue and there were more things to be accomplished than there
was time. While I loved my job, students, colleagues, and school, I had a
dissatisfied feeling of what I was doing day after day. In week two of our study, God began to speak to me
again. Priscilla was teaching on Gideon's assignment. She wrote
"Gideon's work would begin in the circle closest to him and spread outward
from there. She illustrated that Gideon had to focus on himself, then his
family, his tribe, and then his nation. She had us fill in the same
target illustration. I put myself in the middle, then my family, then my
school, church, and community. That was it.... I knew this was God's way
of showing me to trust him, follow him and he would fulfill my desire to know him
more. Then I read, "The lord is committed to removing anything from
your life that might promote the very thing that will hinder your
progress"
· May 2013-
Lastly in week 3 of our study- this was the final thought that left me knowing that I
was doing the right thing by taking on a new job~ knowing that I might have to
leave the place and people that I loved. She wrote" What is the Lord
asking you to release to him? Maybe it's hard to see it go because it's
been so plentiful in your life and has brought you so much comfort
(Hodges). Understandable. But take a deep breath....and then let it
go anyway. I assure you, you'll be better off with God's 300 (not so much to do with my job) than your 32, 000 (my friends, comfort zone, great school)"
· July 9th- “Therefore,
since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off
everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run
with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and
perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning
its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2”
I felt as God was telling me to run the race he sets before me and to keep my
eyes on him even if the journey seems scary, long, or joyful.
· July 17th- God is good! I was told
that I would be doing reading recovery at Springfield (another great
school). While reading recovery is a lot of work, I will only focus on reading instead of EVERYTHING. I think that I am right where he wants me to
be. Now I will be able to
strengthen my relationship with Him and prepare myself to walk in a deeper
closer relationship with him. Hopefully
one day I will be able to pass the baton of faith onto our children.
· July 17th- I have been doing yet
another bible study by Priscilla Shirer One in a Million. This was all in God’s perfect timing, because
I want to be one in a million who experience abundant living. As I have been studying Joshua, Moses,
Abraham, and Jesus over the last week, I am astonished at their commitment to
follow God’s will for their lives. Even
though their roads were sometimes difficult they were committed to hear God and
to obey. Dear Lord- help me to obey your
every command so that I can experience abundant living. “For the thief comes only to kill, steal, and destroy, but I come that
they may have life and have it to the full” John 10:10
· July 23rd-
“ I command you, Be strong and
courageous! Do not be afraid or
discouraged. For the Lord your God is
with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9
Lord- I want to be courageous! I
want to surrender myself to you…..and trust that wherever you lead or whatever
happens you are right there by my side. I want your will to be done in my life.
- January, 2014- As the New Year has approached I can’t believe that it is already 2014. I can’t believe that we have been waiting 9 months for a baby. I’m not sure where the time goes. Our agency averages a year wait time for the adoptive parents, so we haven’t met the average yet. Now more than ever I find myself becoming somewhat antsy to get this show on the road. We are so blessed to have so many lifting us up in prayer and so often people will ask “any news”? I am by no means saying that I don’t want people to ask because it is just a reminder of how many people care about us, but I often get tired of responding with the same response “No not yet”. From time to time, I am tempted to get my hands in the process and find some way to speed things up and I actually expect it to help. When I sit back and think about what I’m doing…..I’m trying to assist or redirect the plans God has for us. WHAT am I thinking? I love kids and enjoy spending time with my friend’s children, but let’s just face it~ It’s hard because that is what I want. I am so thankful though that every time I begin to muster up pity for myself, God always reminds me….. Katie, I love you and I know the plans I have for you. Sometimes I just want to say, leave me alone and let me feel sorry for myself for just a bitJ. I opened up my bible this morning and God truly spoke to me. I sometimes hesitate to put my journaling out there for others to read because I don’t want it to become a place where I brag but I want others to know that I believe in a living God that is there waiting for me every time I seek him. I was reading Isaiah 9 and it talks about how God is not pleased with arrogance and how Israel had faced a setback, but intended to rebuild the city with their own strength ~Just as I am facing a setback and find myself wanting to depend on my strength. My bible says in the margin, “God is not pleased with any pride or trust in ourselves because it cuts off our contact with him.” Then I read Psalm 9. Summed up the psalmist asked why does God seem to hide when I need him the most, but he continued to seek God and did not stop praying. I loved verse 17, “Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them”. I pray as we wait this year, that I will trust in God and not myself. In Jesus’ calling this morning it suggests trying a new habit. It says “Try saying , I trust you, Jesus” in response to whatever happens to you. Think about who I am and all My power and Glory. This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe.” Do you see the connections… I need to trust that God is who he says he is and his plan is best for me . “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed”. Habakkuk 2:3 I hope to spend 2014 trusting in God. Happy New Year and I hope you take the time to seek God’s will for your life over the next year.
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